vdaeray

cold isn’t just a temperature anymore. it’s a emotional feeling. i just feel so dead inside today. i’m no psychology expert or anything, but i do know people don’t really like to talk about sad feelings. and no one else wants to hear about your sad feelings. they say they do, but in reality it’s a lie. you see these things reposted on facebook about “who are my 10” for suicide awareness. they have hotlines and everything, because you should just call them instead of a family member or friend. when you’re dead, that’s when everyone says “if only you just reached out”. in my case, it’d be a load of crap. the day i drop dead, it’ll be sigh of relief i’m sure.

i don’t know how to feel anything but sad these days. and i don’t know if i wanna try. i don’t remember what it’s like to honestly be happy. everything else is just a facade, a figment of my imagination. i will never be enough for you, you and yous. i’m exhausted of trying to stand up to my demons. happiness isn’t something i’m made for…